Taskmaster Series 18 Episode 1: The Stats Round Up

HERE BE SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST EPISODE OF TASKMASTER UK: S18 — IF YE HAVE NOT SEEN IT DO NOT SAIL PAST THE SEAL OF SPOILERS

ALL HAIL THE BUBBLEGUM FAIRY: Rosie Jones wins the first episode of Series 18 with a score of 17 (3.4 PPT), with surprise package Jack Dee just one point behind on 16 (3.2 PPT)…

Let’s dig deeper than Rosie trying to find the thing that smells in her belly button, and delve into the stats behind the first episode!

HEADLINES

• Rosie’s score of 17 is the second-lowest winning score for a first episode ever — only Series 10 (where every single contestant was disqualified for one task, and only Daisy May Cooper scored a single point in another) has seen a lower winning score (12, for Richard Herring).
• Just 64 points were scored in this first episode, which is the second lowest points total for a first ep (again, after Series 10). However, that’s slightly deceptive, as there were only 65 points available (because the final task was a winner-takes-all).
• Rosie has set out her stall nicely with this win — since the show’s seasons were extended to 10 episodes each in Series 6, the winner of the first episode has gone on to win the whole thing six times (out of twelve series).
• More good news for Rosie — since Series 6, only twice has the winner of the first episode not finished in the top two. They were Alice Levine (Series 6, who would go on to finish last), and Steve Pemberton (Series 17, who would go on to finish third. Although he’s been very vocal online about how he was robbed.)

“I am here to grant you three wishes. But don’t tell me them, cos I know them alreaaaaaadeeeeeee…”

• Rosie won both studio tasks — she is the fifth contestant ever to do this in a first episode, after Tim Key (Series 1), Mark Watson (Series 5), Lou Sanders (Series 8) and Julian Clary (Series 16). However, Rosie is the first contestant to win the studio tasks AND win the episode.
• Rosie also managed to win the first episode without winning a single filmed task. She’s the third contestant to do this after Richard Herring (Series 10) and Sarah Kendall (Series 11) — and they both went on to win their series…

Jack Dee, offering a drink to the “faceless facilitators.”

• Jack Dee, meanwhile, won two filmed tasks without winning the episode — he’s the fourth contestant to do this in the first episode, after Romesh Ranganathan (Series 1), Ed Gamble (Series 9) and Lee Mack (Series 11).

“What a shame, what a shame!”

• Neither Emma Sidi nor Babátúndé Aléshé won a task (although Emma came extremely close, and lost out in controversial circumstances). This is the eighth time in the history of the show two contestants have failed to win a task in the first episode, and the first time since Series 13. Of the twenty three contestants to fail to win a task in the first episode, only one (Josh Widdicombe, Series 1) went on to win their series.

Baba looking for the camera.

• Andy Zaltzman and Babátúndé Aléshé both scored 9 — it’s only the fourth time in the history of the show that we’ve had two contestants score fewer than ten points in the first episode, after Doc Brown and Joe Wilkinson (Series 2), Katherine Parkinson and Mawaan Rizwan (Series 10) and Charlotte Ritchie and Jamali Maddix (Series 11). All but one of those contestants finished in the bottom two (Mawaan Rizwan is the exception, finishing third.)

“Query?”

Prize Task — “The Best Thing That Has Been Inside You”.

• This is arguably the most personal opening prize task ever, especially compared to last series’ “Most Glorious Thing That Sounds Like Greg Davies”. In fact, it is only the second time that the first prize task of the series has made specific reference to the contestant — the item has to have actually been inside the contestant, as opposed to being hypothetical (like Series 12’s The Thing That, If You Put It In A Bag And Sit On It, It Would Feel The Nicest). The only other time this has happened was in Series 16, when contestants had to bring in the “Most Wonderful Wooden Thing That You’ve Owned For A While”.

Rosie explains her prize task, everyone is very upset.

• Jack Dee is the third contestant to bring in a toothbrush as a prize, after Alan Davies in Series 12 (who inexplicably brought in two different types of toothbrush in two different prize tasks — an electric toothbrush, and a child’s toothbrush with a suction cup), and Sam Campbell, who brought in a weird toothbrush to make Greg groan (it did not make Greg groan). Jack is the first to bring in a toothbrush that looks like it was used to clean boots.

“I’m not gonna lie, that looks disgusting.”

• Babátúndé Aléshé brought in oxtail stew — he’s the fourth contestant to bring in food for the first prize task over the past seven series (Nick Mohammed brought in eggs benedict, Jenny Eclair brought in 21 eggs, Mae Martin brought in a full English Breakfast). Strangely all of the first ep foodbringers have received a mediocre two points — apart from Mae, who bagged the full five for their efforts.

“Did he eject you safely?”

• I believe Emma Sidi is the first contestant ever to bring in a USB stick for a prize (or at least, the first contestant to bring in a USB where the prize was not a video/song that the audience were allowed to view). In fact, this is the first time the word “USB” has been uttered in the show since Series 1, when Romesh Ranganathan claimed that his vape pen was “the most satisfying item” because it had a USB connector on it so he could charge his phone. Somehow, he scored 3 points.
• Rosie Jones won the task with a letter opener — I believe this is the first time a contestant has won a prize task with a blade. Hugh Dennis was previously the most blade happy contestant (using the blender and cutting up a cake with a big knife) — Rosie could be gunning for his crown.

Task One

“OK… there was something written there…”

• Jack Dee won the first filmed task of the series, which is good news for him given recent history — Sam Campbell and John Robins, champions of Series 16 and Series 17 respectively, also won the first task of their series. Overall the winner of the first filmed task has gone on to win the entire series seven times.
• This is the first time in the history of Taskmaster that the task has not been read out (the audience only hears the task for the first time as a voiceover by Babá and Rosie). It is the third time that a task has not been read out by the contestants — the first task of Series 14 was read out by Alex (because the contestants had giant boxes on their head), as was one of the first tasks in Series 9 (because the contestants had blackout goggles over their eyes).
• It is also the first time in Taskmaster history that the audience has seen a full task attempt by a contestant without knowing what the task is — Andy Zaltzman’s effort came before we heard Babá and Rosie read out the task, so the audience were completely in the dark.

Rosie’s Achilles’ heel: laughing maniacally.

• It is the fourth time in five series that the first task of the series has involved a sense/ability being taken away — in Series 14, the contestants had their eyes covered, in Series 15 the audience couldn’t hear the music the contestants were dancing to, and in Series 16 the contestants were blindfolded while trying to make a can tower.
• In a controversial Taskmaster first, it seems not all the information was on the task — there was a bit of the task that was not actually read out by Babá or Rosie (they only read out the instructions for completing the task, not the specific bit that told them not to read the task aloud.) If you pause carefully you can make out the pre-instruction, which is as follows: Do not say any of this out loud. You must carry out each instruction before reading the next. You must remain silent until you’ve completed all four instructions.
• This makes Jack’s victory controversial, as he did not remain silent while Andy and Emma did — and in fact it was his disregard for the rules (by uttering “this is quite boring”) that won him the task.

Emma Sidi chokes back a fly.

• I believe this is also the first time in the show’s history that Alex has shown footage after the task appears to be completed, (ie, has done his classic “I just want to show you one other bit I found interesting…”) with the result that the contestant in question (in this case Jack) gains points, as opposed to losing them, or getting disqualified.

Task 2

• This is the earliest reveal of the Special Location (Thorpe Park!) since Series 14 (when we learned the Special Location was Gatwick Airport in the second filmed task of the series). Overall it is the eighth time in the show’s history that we’ve left the Taskmaster grounds by the second task.

Zaltzman in picturesque Thorpe Park

• Throwing tasks are popular ones for a first episode — as well as the first Gatwick task (where contestants had to throw a toilet roll into a toilet in the middle of the terminal), we had two throwing tasks in the first episode of Series 12 (where contestants had to throw a ball at Alex in one, and throw items to pop a balloon in another), as well as the “fell all the ducks” task in the first episode of Series 4, and the infamous “throw the potato into the golf hole” in Series 2 (when Joe Wilkinson did maliciously cheat.)
• There were five balls used in this task — yoga, basket, rugby, cricket and golf. Four of these balls are Taskmaster regulars — the yoga ball appeared in Series 10 (“get all the exercise balls in the hoops”), the golf ball in Series 16 (“get the ball in the hole” by blowing it), the cricket ball was Russell Howard’s highest point, the basketball was Nish Kumar’s lowest — but I believe the rugby ball is a Taskmaster first. This may be in honour of Emma Sidi, whose father played rugby for England (as she mentions in the task during her own personal hell).

“Is it too early to say I haven’t got cerebal palsy?”

• The task had the wording “you must stay on the spot at all times and you may not move the spot” — probably to shut down a workaround deviced by Ivo Graham in Series 15 (where he pulled the spot up and bounced around to gain an advantage, henceforth known as the Graham Hop).
• Andy Zaltzman was disqualified in this task for stepping off the spot. Only three times has there been an earlier disqualification in the series — Series 3, when Paul Chowdhry was disqualified in the first task; Series 17, when three out of five of the contestants were disqualified in the first task; and Series 10, when every contestant was disqualified in the first task (coincidentally the first filmed task ever shown on Channel 4).

Task Three

• I believe this is the fifth time that a task as written has involved bubbles — in Series 2 contestants had to make a delivery man say “bubbles”; in Series 6 the contestants had to burst the biggest bubble with their nose; in Series 14 they had to turn on the bubble machine; while in Series 15 during the Bingo task they had to pop all but one bubble on a sheet of bubble wrap.

Beauty and ze Bubble.

• This was the second subjective task of the series after the prize task, and interestingly (if you’re me) the scores were completely reversed — the worse the contestants did in the prize task, the better they did in this task (and vice versa). Andy scored 1 in the prize task but 5 here, Babá scored 2 in the prize task but 4 here, Jack got 3 both times, Emma got 4 in the prize task but 2 here, while Rosie scored 5 in the prize task and one here. It means, for the first time ever, the scores in subjective tasks are completely level after one episode — which implies that this series is going to be quite even (and that the contestants are capable of being both brilliant and terrible).
• Andy scored 5 for his bubbly pastiche of French cinema/perfume ad. At one point he potted a satsuma with a snooker cue — possibly a nod to Bob Mortimer (who always had a satsuma on the desk in his tasks) and Tim Vine (whose trick shot in Series 6 also involved potting something unconventional — a toy giraffe).
• Babá scored 4 for the portrait of his newborn daughter and bubbly dance around afterwards. Babá is one of many contestants to do the show while wrestling with a newborn at home — Series 3’s Rob Beckett blamed his baby-induced sleep deprivation for his stranger task attempts (including spraying Alex with a powerhose, dressed as a granny and laughing maniacally), while Series 17’s Nick Mohammed has claimed that his decision to dress as Dracula was made when he was sleep-deprived with the baby.

Babá bubbling beautifully.

• Jack Dee scored 3 for giving out (vegan non alcoholic) champagne to the cast and crew (the faceless facilitators). Many of the brilliant people who work behind the scene were visible in this task, including one of the Andys (who can really be sure which one?). It’s actually the second consecutive episode to feature some of the production team, after the final episode of Series 17 saw legendary Line Producer Vicky Winter appear in John, Joanne and Sophie’s gameshow “Guess The Age and Win The Wage”.
• Emma Sidi scored 2 for her seductive bubbly bath (although as Greg said, she just sounded hammered). Emma is the latest in a line of contestants to take a bath during a task. By my count she is the sixth, after Phil Wang and Rhod Gilbert in Series 7 (when they created the literal soap opera, “Feelings”, and Rhod spent most of the task underwater); Morgana Robinson in Series 12 (where she turned herself into a mermaid to propose to Alex) and Sophie Duker (who showed off by doing a daring act of escapology handcuffed in the bath — the daring bit was to actually not free herself of the handcuffs). Those efforts all saw the bathing contestants win the task, unlike this one for Emma.

Wand drop.

• Rosie Jones scored 1 for her nightmarish Bubblegum Fairy. While she fared poorly pointswise, she did keep up a glorious tradition — a contestant making Alex put far too much of something in his mouth (in this case, bubblegum). Other notable examples include Sue Perkins forcing Alex to put loads of lollipops in his mouth during the Mischief task in Series 16, and Kojey Radical pushing as many poppadoms as he could into Alex’s mouth in this year’s New Year’s Treat.

Live Task

• This task had similarities to one in the second New Year’s Treat, where contestants had to find the shot glass filled with vinegar on a table covered in shot glasses filled with different liquids. In that task, contestants were expected to search around the room for clues — in this one, the clues were given by Alex at the cost of an opportunity to drink the vinegar. Thankfully in this task no-one did a Jonnie Peacock (find the vinegar and then pour it all over the table, meaning he had to suck it off the table with a straw. He didn’t need to do that, he’s a Paralympic gold medal winner.)

Babá takes a drink of vinegar.

• As stated previously, this was a “winner takes all” task (as in, the winner gets five and everyone else gets zero). It’s only the second time that the first episode has contained a winner-takes-all task (after Series 9, when contestants had to draw the second longest snake). It’s actually the first “winner takes all” task since Series 15, when Mae and Jenny scored double points for stuffing a bunch of stuff into Kiell’s pants and then correctly guessing how much stuff was in there.
• Rosie won this episode on the final task — she’s the fifth contestant to do that in a first episode, after Frank Skinner in Series 1, Sarah Kendall in Series 11, Morgana Robinson in Series 12 and Joanne McNally in Series 17. Of those, Sarah and Morgana won their series, and Frank missed out by a point.

All Time Comparisons

There’s no point in doing the All Time Leaderboard after one episode, but we can look at how these scores compare to previous series…

• Rosie Jones’ score means she’s in good company — Dara Ó Briain, Morgana Robinson, Katherine Ryan, Liza Tarbuck all started their series with 17 (3.40PPT). Overall Rosie is joint 24th — her score is decent but it doesn’t come close to the all-time first episode: Series 13’s Chris Ramsey (4.60PPT).

• Jack Dee is also looking good with his score of 16 (3.20) — that’s as many as Ed Gamble and Jenny Eclair managed in their first episodes. If he had won the final task Jack would have had the second best first episode ever, alongside Sam Campbell and Al Murray (21 points, 4.20 PPT).

• Emma Sidi’s score is more middling — 13 puts her in joint 53rd for a first episode, worryingly one point behind David Baddiel’s first episode. It’s early days so she shouldn’t worry about being stuck in the Baddiel Zone just yet — she’s level with Josh Widdicombe’s first episode, and still one point ahead of Richard Herring’s first episode.

• Andy Zaltzman and Babátúndé Aléshé are right down at the bottom with their scores of 9 — only nine contestants have had worse first episodes (Mawaan Rizwan, Sophie Willan, Asim Chaudhry, Joe Wilkinson, Paul Chowdhry, Jamali Maddix, Roisin Conaty, Katherine Parkinson and Charlotte Ritchie).
• While it’s worth remembering that these scores are artficially low because of that “winner takes all” task, it’s going to be a bit of an uphill climb for Andy and Babá now. And it’s especially hard for Babá because he didn’t study climbing at school (he’s a comedian.)

And Finally…

• Andy Zaltzman regretted his choice of Q word (“query?”), saying that he “could have gone with quesadilla. Feel it’s an opportunity missed.” But while Andy didn’t say it in the task, he can take solace in the fact that, by saying it after the task, he is still the first ever contestant to say the word “quesadilla” in the history of the show. The only other time the word “quesadilla” has been uttered on Taskmaster was when Alex was listing all of the foods beginning with Q that were in the fridge that David Baddiel could have put on Alex’s tray, if only he’d looked for them. Of course, if Andy really wanted to take an opportunity to say a great Q word, he should have gone for “quisps”.

If you want more Taskmaster stats, facts and figures, simply look under fifteen seals in the Taskmaster study or laugh maniacally at the camera for a full minute… or click on the link here!

And don’t forget to tune in to the latest episode of Taskmaster The People’s Podcast with me and Jenny Eclair where we’ll be discussing ALL of this at length (as well as judging the contestant’s outfits, and I claim to be able to blow bubbles when really I can’t.)