Taskmaster Series 18 Episode 7: The Stats Round Up

Warning! Past this point be spoilers for Taskmaster Series 18 Episode 7! If you are yet to watch Series 18 Episode 7, do not go past Steve Pemberton’s Moon!

Steve Pemberton’s delightful moon.

*inexplicable South African accent* “Stop de clock”

SIDI A; DEE F: Stop de clock! A brilliant episode from Emma (22 points [4.4 PPT]) and a nightmare from Jack (10 points [2.0 PPT]) throws what was looking like a procession into complete chaos, with Jack’s lead slashed to 4!

Let’s make like a water balloon dropped from a great height onto Jack Dee’s trousers and EXPLODE into some stats!

HEADLINES

• Emma’s score of 22 is the joint highest of the series (level with Babátúndé Aléshé in Episode 4), and the highest outright by a contestant not using their hot dog joker. She scored 14 points more than she did the week previously. Only twice has there been a bigger jump up in a contestant’s scores from one episode to the next — in Series 15, Mae Martin scored 18 points more in Episode 5 than they had in Episode 4, and in Series 4, Mel Giedroyc scored a whopping 21 more points in Episode 4 than she had in Episode 3.
• If no-one else scores more than 22 or less than 8 for the rest of the series, Emma will become the seventh contestant to nab both the highest and lowest episode scores in a series (after Paul Chowdhry in Series 3, Mel Giedroyc in Series 4, Aisling Bea in Series 5, Joe Thomas in Series 8, Katy Wix in Series 9 and Guz Khan in Series 12).

• Meanwhile it was a dramatically poor episode for Jack Dee (for one task in particular). His score of 10 was his worst return of the series. It’s the second time Jack has gone a whole episode without winning any kind of task — the only other time this has happened was in Episode 2 (which, strangely enough, is the only episode he’s won so far this season).
• It means that the scores have tightened up even more — Andy Zaltzman (whose own episode score of 16 [3.2 PPT] was not particularly good) is now just 4 points behind Jack, with Babá and Emma a further two points back. The gap between 1st and 4th is just 6 points — the third smallest gap between 1st and 4th in a series at this stage, after Series 9 (where just 5 points separated Rose Matafeo in 4th and Ed Gamble in 1st) and Series 12 (where Morgana Robinson was 3 points clear of Desiree Burch, Alan Davies and Guz Khan in joint second).
• Jack shouldn’t necessarily panic just yet — there have been five contestants who had smaller leads at this stage, and only one of them actually ended up losing the series (Jessica Knappett in Series 7 had a three point lead which she lost in the final task of the show). Jack has also led the show since Episode 2 — no contestant has ever led for six consecutive episodes and not won the series.
• Rosie is bottom of the table with 93 points — with only three episodes to go, 18 points adrift and no hot dog to use any more, it is probably safe to say that she cannot win the series. If she cannot catch up with any of the chasing pack, she will be only the second contestant after Alice Levine in Series 6 to win the first episode and then finish bottom of the series.

Prize Task (The Object That Is Bigger Than Your Head)

• This was another size-based task, and (I think) the fifth to specify a size in the task itself. The others are Series 3’s “Heaviest Shoebox-sized Item”, Series 11’s “The Most Shocking Thing That Is Bigger Than A Cat And Smaller Than A Pig”, Series 12’s “40 Things That Are All The Same And Can All Fit On A Towel And Are The Best” and Series 15’s “The Best Thing You Take Everywhere With You, But Struggle To Fit In Your Bag”. It could also be argued that last week’s prize task (“The Best Thing To Put In Alex’s Pocket”) was also a size-based task as it should be smaller than a pocket to meet the requirements of a task. However, that task didn’t actually “size” or “fit” in it so that’s why I didn’t count it, if you wanted a tedious insight into my brain.

“I really think it will open doors for me.”

• Rosie kicked off proceedings with a papier mâché Greg Davies head — the 19th time an image or effigy of Greg has been brought in as a prize. It’s also the second time in consecutive series that a contestant has brought in a papier mâché effort (although unlike Steve Pemberton’s moon, there was no suggestion that Rosie had made it herself in her garden, nor that she had got Sam Campbell to help with a picture of Alex Horne’s bare bottom). It’s the fourth time that a contestant has submitted a prize with the aim of making the winner look like Greg, after Mike Wozniak brought in a Greg headwarmer in Series 11 (4 points), Kiell Smith-Bynoe brought in a Greg morph suit in Series 15 (2 points) and Sophie Duker brought in a Taskmaster cosplay kit (2 points). Scoring 4 points, it’s Rosie’s best effort since Episode 4 (her tattoo proclaiming she had killed a man), but she hasn’t won a prize task since winning the first two of the series.

Baba trying to sell Greg on his subwoofer (in vain).

• Next was official park-botherer Babátúndé, who (reluctantly) brought in a subwoofer speaker. He started his defence by saying “oh no” and saying it was rubbish compared to Rosie’s — he’s the second contestant to play down his effort before revealing it this series, after Rosie Jones asked Greg if they could go to someone else first during the “Object With The Most Soul” Prize Task in Episode 3 (they didn’t, Rosie revealed she had brought in a saxophone and understandably got 1 point). Babá is also the second contestant this series to bring in a speaker, after Andy Zaltzman brought in (among other things) a speaker playing soul music for the “Object With The Most Soul” task. I can’t find another example of a contestant bringing in a speaker before that point in the show’s history (although contestants have brought in sound effects/music that would require a speaker to play) but as always, if you find an example of a speaker please angrily shout at me below. Babá’s effort scored 2 points, meaning that he slides further down the all-time prize task chart — he’s currently averaging 2.43 points per prize task, with only twelve contestants doing worse in prize tasks so far (a list that includes Nish Kumar, Hugh Dennis and — surprisingly I feel — Mel Giedroyc).

“I’m a dry woman and I like to be moist.”

• Emma took the five points for her moisturiser hat — she also very gracefully demonstrated it in a video, making her the first contestant this series to model a prize task and win (previous modellers from this series include Jack Dee with the safety harness and swimming pool [both 3 points], and Rosie Jones with her saxophone [1 point]). It’s rare for a hat to do so well in a prize task — by my estimate, hats have been brought in fourteen times previously, and only once before this have they scored 5 points (that was Sally Phillips for her ‘hip hip beret’ in a Series 5 prize task that specified contestants had to bring in headwear). After an uneven start, Emma’s on a good run of form with her prize tasks — in the last three episodes she’s scored two 5s and a 4, having received three 3s in a row before that. It means she’s level with Rosie Jones in prize tasks now, averaging 3.43 prize points per episode and just inside the Top Twenty on the all-time chart (behind Julian Clary).

“This is my priiiiiiiize.”

• In a sentence I’m becoming increasingly bored of writing, Jack Dee scored a 3 in the prize task this week. It’s his sixth in seven episodes, continuing a remarkable run at being bang average in prize tasks. It means he is the first contestant ever to score no higher than a 3 in the first seven episodes of a series (even Hugh Dennis had managed a 5 by this stage). Jack brought in a guitar — the fifth contestant to bring in an instrument for a prize task (although the first to actually play it in the studio). He’s the second contestant to sing as part of the prize task, after Mike Wozniak (who brought in “a tune” for the thing that he could carry but only just, and sang a song called Facts About Animals).

“I’m not safe, I have to move boroughs.”

• Andy Zaltzman continued his excellent run of form in the prize tasks, scoring 4. Since the second episode Andy has scored nothing but 4s and 5s in the prize tasks — a big reason for his sudden reversal in fortunes in the series leaderboard. Andy is currently 6th in the all-time leaderboard for prize tasks — if he scores 13 in the final three prize tasks (ie, two 5s and a 3 or two 4s and one 5) he will become the first contestant ever to score 40 points from prize tasks in a single series. This effort was, as usual, bonkers, and is also notable for being the first time that Andy has explicitly brought cricket into a prize task (the rhinoceros’ head fired out cricket balls). I believe this is the first time anyone across the whole series has brought something crickety into a Taskmaster UK prize task (although Taskmaster New Zealand has had a fair few, most notably Ben Hurley in Series 5 bringing in a replica of the 2019 Cricket World Cup that New Zealand lost in heartbreaking fashion — 1 point.) Previous animal heads to appear as prize tasks include Tim Key’s reindeer skull (the first winning prize in Taskmaster history).

Task One (Ring The Bell)

The ducks all cascading down on Andy.

• This I think is the first time in Taskmaster UK history where the entire set-up was a misdirect — contestants had to “ring the bell” with the heavy implication that one of the ropes attached to the very large wooden structure in front of them was attached to a bell, when in reality it had nothing to do with the task. Previously there have been tasks with a simple hack that make a difficult task much easier (for example, Bob Mortimer undoing the rope attaching him to the table in the task where they had to build a tower in Series 5; Munya Chawawa discovering the place to position the laser pointer that pointed to the photo of his hand among thousands of photos of his own hand in Series 14; Greg James discovering the ringing phone that told him the answer to the first task in New Year’s Treat 2023; Ivo Graham spotting the answers to the Sausage Exam on the back of the revision guide; the contestants in Series 15 fishing for pineapples in a river before discovering a bunch of pineapples in an alleyway), but I can’t think of another example where it was completely impossible to do the task in the “conventional” manner that the show was suggesting. The only vaguely comparable task is the “demeaning” task Series 9, where the contestants had to do various pointless tasks as a team (all of which were designed to get them to say ‘demeaning’, which was the point of the task) — but even in that one there was a task which explicitly told the contestants to say the word “demeaning”, so even if you didn’t stumble on the hack itself you could follow the task to completion without it. Again, if you can think of another example where the entire task was a misdirect, scream “NOOOOO” at me very loudly in the street (or online).

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

• It’s similar to the “locket in the pocket” task earlier this series, or the “this is not the real task” task from Series 17 (where contestants had to find the real task, with an arrow made up of hundreds of tasks pointing to the “real” task), where a huge, cumbersome prop is set up that is, ultimately, irrelevant to the task itself. It’s also the second time contestants have had a visor or hat blocking a specific part of their vision during a task, after Series 17’s “Work out who is following you” task (where the contestants had to wear a wraparound Handmaid’s Tale style piece of headwear to stop them from looking behind them and seeing Mr Blobby).
• Similarly I think it marks the first time there’s been a hidden “clue” in the task that was, ultimately, completely irrelevant (the fact that the final S in “starts” had been replaced with a 5).
• There were several delightful references in the things that fell from the big wooden structure when contestants pulled the rope. We had a bunch of balls from Rope 1 (many of which were likely used in the “work out how many balls are in the basket” task in Series 10); half a watermelon in clingfilm from Rope 2 (likely a reference to the first ever filmed task on the show); a water balloon from Rope 3 (again previously seen in Series 10 when contestants had to work out the greatest height to drop a water balloon from); cocktail umbrellas from Rope 4 (again seen in Series 10 [lots of Series 10 references!] when contestants had to make a cocktail as quietly as possible); flowers from Rope 5; rubber ducks from Rope 6 (as seen in every single series of Taskmaster); a bunch of socks from Rope 7 (possibly the same as in the “pair the socks” task in Series 14); a very very long rope from Rope 8 (not a reference but funny); someone yelling “NOOOOO” from Rope 9 (almost certainly a sound effect they’ve used before or got from a contestant in the show, if you recognised it please tell me) and Patatas the Cat from Rope 10 (his second appearance this series).

“There’s a bell!”

• This was Andy’s third disqualification of the series, after failing in the “locket in the pocket” task in Episode 4 and the “knock over the cans” task in Episode 1. Despite the low points per episode score, this series has not actually been that bad for disqualifications — while Andy is far and away the worst for DQs this series, on the all-time leaderboard there are 27 contestants who have a higher percentage of tasks ending in disqualification. No-one else has been disqualified while rabbitting on about England cricketer Ian Bell, however.

“What am I supposed to do? React?”

• This was only Rosie Jones’ third filmed task win of the series, and her first in an objectively judged task (her previous wins came in ‘capture the most remarkable doorbell footage’ and ‘recreate a famous 2D piece of art in 3D’). It isn’t enough to pull her off the bottom of the series for objectively judged tasks — she’s averaging 2.35 points per objectively judged tasks, with only twelve contestants scoring worse than that (including Ivo Graham, Katherine Parkinson, Nish Kumar and David Baddiel). Part of the reason for that low, low, low objectively judged task score may have something to do with the next task…

Task Two (Work Out What Is In The Box)

• On the surface, this task was a reworking of the first team task in Series 8, where one contestant had to “convey the object in the chest to [their] teammates”. As in this task, the people guessing couldn’t see the object, and the people conveying could only make facial expressions (at least initially). In the Series 8 version, Joe Thomas guessed the object (a compass) from Sian Gibson’s conveying in under two minutes — over thirty six minutes quicker than the winning effort from the Team of Three in this task. Of course, this task had a few extra complications.

Captain Jackie and the hot dog…before the betrayal.

• Unknown to Rosie, Emma and Babá, there was a secret task for Jack and Andy — to lie throughout, and lose an actual Taskmaster point every time they told the truth. This is the fourth time there has been a secret task for at least one of the contestants during a team task — first in Series 12, when Morgana Robinson had to get her teammates to say “submarine” for an extra 2 points; then in Series 14, when John Kearns was tasked with sabotaging his teammates Dara O Briain and Fern Brady (itself a reworking of a task from Taskmaster New Zealand Series 2 with Laura Daniel having to sabotage Guy Montgomery and David Correos); and finally in Series 17, when all five contestants had to carry out secret missions during the “main” team (such as say “umbrella” five times or lie on the floor for 30 seconds for no reason). This secret task was slightly different — whereas previous secret tasks involved a contestant doing something in secret for extra points for themselves alone, here the success or failure of the secret task impacted their teammates as well. As Jack said in the studio, he had to lie to Rosie to protect her. If only he actually, you know, had.

Emma on her knees, begging Alex to blow his whistle and end this.

• The Team of Three scored 5 points for their efforts, while the Team of Two scored 0 for breaking the rules (Jack was not allowed to make anything other than silent facial expressions, nor nod and shake his head — rules he broke many, many times), as well as docked 3 points for the “three” times Jack told the truth (which was simultaneously very harsh and also extremely lenient, given that Jack effectively told the truth throughout the task). It means that there’s an eight point swing in the team tasks — that’s the second biggest swing in a single team task, after the infamous “double or nothing” task in Series 15, where Jenny Eclair, Kiell Smith Bynoe and Mae Martin scored 10 points with Frankie Boyle and Ivo Graham scored 0. It also means that there are now fifteen points between the two teams — that’s already the third highest gap between two teams in a series, after Series 15 and Series 17 (both 18 points). There will likely be at least another two team tasks in the final three episodes — an opportunity for the Team of Three to break the record, or a chance for the Team of Two to make up the gap.

• As a result, team tasks are playing even more havoc with the series — if you take them out, Jack’s lead goes from 4 points to 18. What’s more, Rosie shoots up from last place to second. That is the biggest change in fortunes due to the team tasks — the next closest is Frankie Boyle in Series 15, who goes from 4th to 2nd when team tasks are removed.

Series score without team tasks.

• This is the fifth* time there have been minus points in a task. There was the hidden “Don’t eat the chocolate” clause in the “Move the water from the fishbowls” task in Series 4, which deducted points from Mel Giedroyc; the voting task in Series 5, which saw both Mark Watson and Nish Kumar lose 2 points each; the “do the opposite of the following” task in Series 12, which deducted points from Desiree Burch and Victoria Coren-Mitchell; and the Secret Task in Series 16, which saw Sue Perkins lose a single point (but gain a giant hat).

*Thanks to Reddit user 1totheInfinity for reminding me of the voting task which I had completely forgotten about!

• The answer to what was inside the chest was a lemon and a five pound note — possibly a reference to two separate tasks from Series 6. The former featured in a task where contestants had to build a tower of lemons, the latter in a task where contestants had to pull a fiver from out of a pint without spilling any liquid. Quite why Alex would reference Series 6 like this I don’t know. This is Series 18, and eighteen is a multiple of six? (According to Numberblocks at least. I’m still watching a lot of Numberblocks.)

Task Three (Eat and obey five fortune cookies)

• This was the first “multitask” task of the series, where there were multiple tasks within a task. Other examples of this include Series 15’s “Bingo” task (AKA, when Ivo Graham sat in silence in the caravan for no reason); the “complete all the tasks then put the tubs on your head” task in Series 16 (where Sam Campbell regretted not taking advantage of going to Croatia, and called Susan and Sue “dynamite chicks”); the “alphabet” task in Series 11 (where Alex set fire to the task as the contestants were reading it, and Mike Wozniak told a vole that they had no chutzpah).

Baba not enjoying his hot sauce.

• There were ten fortune cookies in the lab, four in the study and one in the kitchen — assuming there were no others around the house (which is a fair assumption, given that contestants were directed to those rooms by the fortune cookies), that would mean there were fifteen different fortune cookies to select from. Assuming there was only one “reset” fortune cookie (ie, the one in the kitchen which, when opened, would delete your progress), this means that the maximum number of fortune cookies you could eat and obey was ten (ie, you complete four cookies and then open the “reset” cookie, meaning you have to do another five cookies after that point — this is exactly what happened to Andy Zaltzman).

The many faces of chilli horror for Rosie Jones.

• This number of mini-tasks is middling for a multi-task task. The largest number of possible mini-tasks in a multi-task task is still Series 11’s alphabet task, where contestants had the potential to complete thirteen* tasks (although in reality Mike Wozniak completed the most with seven) and the largest number of compulsory mini-tasks in a multi-task task (ie, a multi-task task where contestants had to complete every mini-task) is still Series 16, where contestants had to complete twelve tasks as a team (albeit five of them were ‘shake hands’).

*A previous edition of this round-up stated there were twenty six possible tasks to complete in the “alphabet” task — many people who rightly pointed out that there were in fact only thirteen, because it wasn’t a task for every letter of the alphabet, it was every other letter (Attack the biscuit; chuck the dog, etc). Thank you to Reddit user AnotherBoxofTapes, Bluesky user watt5423 and Medium reader Jwdmeow for keeping me honest, I will down a bottle of Scotch bonnet chilli sauce as penance.)

Jack Dee very aggressively eating a fortune cookie.

• Two of the mini-tasks had little references to previous tasks in the show — “retrieve the pineapple from the kitchen” was potentially a reference to Series 15’s “Pile the pineapples on the path”, when contestants had to fish pineapples out of a canal, while “don the medallion in the living room” used the same medallion as a live task in Series 12, where contestants had to get into a box containing a medallion and put it on.

“Hello! I’m in the bath!” “…you called me?”

• One of the mini-tasks that Andy Zaltzman had to do involved calling a friend and telling them you were in the bath without explaining yourself. This is the fourth task when a contestant has had to call a stranger or a friend — the first was in Series 2 when the contestants had to order a pizza, the second was in Series 12 when they had to have the longest phone conversation while performing mini-tasks at the same time, and the third was a mini-task in the bingo task in Series 15, where contestants had to “speak to John” (Kiell called John Lewis, Ivo had a hideously awkward conversation with a family friend). The friend that he called was comedian and Edinburgh Fringe Festival favourite Daniel Kitson — this is the third time I can think of when a comedian who has not appeared on Taskmaster (or is yet to appear on Taskmaster) has been called on the phone. Other times include Series 2, when Katherine Ryan called up Danish comedian Sofie Hagen to translate Fred the Swede for her, and Series 12, when Alan Davies called up Aussie comedian and CITV star Bec Hill (Bec wasn’t allowed to say his name and when she did after 12 seconds, Alan had to hang up immediately).

“YEEEEEEEEEEES!”

• During this task Rosie, Babá and Andy had to eat Scotch Bonnet chilli sauce — this is the first time contestants have had to eat (a large amount of) chilli sauce for a task. I could only find one previous example of contestants having to eat anything remotely hot — that was in Series 14, during the “identify these flavours of ice cream task”, where one of the flavours was cornflake and chilli. Having said that, contestants have tortured themselves horribly with chilli sauce in the show before — Romesh Ranganathan poured chilli sauce in his eye to make himself cry in Series 1, while Susan Wokoma drank almost an entire bottle of hot sauce for her “do something shocking but family friendly with this donut” task in Series 16… it’s just usually the contestants bring it in themselves, rather than having it foisted upon them.
• Although it’s worth saying that Babá, Andy and Rosie didn’t actually have to eat the hot sauce — the task wording was relatively ambiguous and didn’t specifically state that each fortune cookie had to be obeyed before eating another. Technically, one could have opened all of the fortune cookies at the start, worked out which ones they were going to obey, eaten the relevant cookies and then obeyed the five easiest fortunes. It was a strategy that Andy Zaltzman nearly came close to spotting (he rejected Alex’s suggestion that he had to do the fortunes in the order that he opened them, and came up with the plan of putting the cookies in the hot sauce and then putting them in the salt water to get rid of the spice). But it was a tactic Jack Dee employed at the end to get out of eating the hot sauce — he delayed “obeying” that one task until the very end, after he had eaten five cookies. In this sense Jack mirrored a tactic used by Ivo Graham in the Series 15 “bingo” task — rather than just doing the tasks as he received them, Ivo opened all of the tasks and then worked out which ones he was going to do (despite this, he still came second last, because, you know, it’s Ivo).

Emma squinting her way to victory.

• It was Emma’s third “fastest wins” task win of the series, after the robot task in Episode 5 and the chest task earlier this episode. Emma has won more fastest wins tasks than any other contestant this series — but has also come last in more “fastest wins” tasks than any other contestant this series. She’s fourth this series in fastest wins task overall, with a PPT score of 3.00. Only Rosie Jones is doing worse than her (and that’s partially because she had 3 points swiped off her in the last “fastest wins” challenge).

Live Task (Throw a bean bag onto the island)

• This was the second use of the island in a live task this series, after the “land your skydiver closest to the seal” task in Episode 5. In that task, Andy came last — here, he won (possibly because unlike that task he wasn’t holding a pool cue for no reason). It puts Andy at the top of the series score for live tasks (averaging 2.57 points per live task), although it’s worth saying that overall he’s in 57th position. Rosie Jones, the worst live tasker of Series 18, is averaging 1.86 points per live task — that’s the fourth worst score ever, after Joe Thomas, Iain Stirling and Sian Gibson (all of Series 8). In fairness to Series 18, this is less because of their inate inability to perform on the Taskmaster stage and more due to the fact that three of the seven live tasks have been “winner-takes-all” affairs, meaning that in three tasks four contestants have scored 0 (through no fault of their own).

All Time Leaderboard

All Time Leaderboard After Episode 7, 20–28 (Jack Dee 24th).

• A disastrous episode from Jack has sent him plummeting out not just of the Top 10 but the Top 20 — his PPT score is now at 3.17, meaning he’s gone from 8th to 24th. Without the hot dog bonus points, he’d be even further down the list — joint 32nd, level with Series 17’s Steve Pemberton and, more importantly, Andy Zaltzman. His objectively judged task score has, unsurprisingly thanks to those three minus points, taken a battering — down to 3.00 points per objectively judged task. Four episodes he was in second place on the all-time objectively judged task chart, only behind John Robins. He’s now 35th, below Jenny Eclair (sorry, I don’t mean to use my co-host as a yardstick for failure). With his prize tasks showing no sign of improving, and his team tasks in the toilet, Jack needs to do well in solo filmed tasks — an area which, despite everything, he’s knocking it out of the park. In fact, if you exclude prize, live and team tasks from scores, Jack Dee is currently the best player ever with a score of 4.06 points per solo filmed task — better even than Chris Ramsey, John Robins or Dara Ó Briain.

All Time Leadboard After Episode 7: 35–44 (Andy Zaltzman joint 37th)

• Andy Zaltzman continues his surreptitious climb up the table (being as inconspicuous as one can be while dressed as a Spartan) — he’s now on 3.06 PPT, level with Ardal O’Hanlon, Steve Pemberton and James Acaster. Even if Andy doesn’t chase down Jack, he’s doing something that no contestant has ever done — he is the first player to score fewer than 10 points in their first episode and be as high as second after Episode 7. Usually the first episode sets the tone for the whole series — Andy’s remarkable recovery (particularly in prize tasks) proves that this doesn’t necessarily have to be the case. That said, we shouldn’t get too carried away — Andy’s score of 107 after seven episodes is actually exactly the same as John Kearn’s score after seven episodes (a great guy but not exactly who you want to be modelling your Taskmaster scores after).

All Time Leaderboard After Ep 7: 45–54 (Babatunde and Emma joint 47th)

• Babátúndé had an average episode (15 points, 3.00 PPT), mostly helped by Emma and Andy in the team task. He’s also averaging 3.00 PPT across the whole series — he’s in 47th place, level with Frankie Boyle, Munya Chawawa and Dave Gorman (as well as one other contestant who we’ll get to momentarily). It’s worth saying that that lofty position is helped by his hot dog — without the five extra (RUNNING) bonus points, Babá would drop eleven places to joint 57th, behind (worryingly) Sophie Willan. Babá has won five tasks and scored 0 or 1 in five tasks — this means he’s hit the middle (ie, 2nd, 3rd or 4th) in 64.81% of his tasks this series. That’s the 15th highest percentage ever — although nowhere near the remarkable Joe Lycett, who managed to hit the middle in over 80% of his tasks on Taskmaster. If Babá wants to keep up with Jack, he needs to start taking more risks. Life is about the now!
• Emma Sidi’s great episode means she is now level with Babá in 47th place on the all time chart, with a PPT score of 3.00 as well. The reason for Emma’s success is her objectively judged tasks — she’s 31st on the all-time list with a score of 3.05 PPT, ahead of both Babá and Jack (even though their scores are inflated due to hot dog shenanigans). Emma has scored 58.1% of her points from objective tasks, the 19th highest percentage ever — it shows how much she’s now relying on her objectively judged efforts over her subjective ones (the low scoring Little Banana Boy/Cartwheeling Envelope Push). Like Babá, she’s also relying on the team tasks — if one takes team tasks out, her PPT score would shoot down to 2.80 and she would be 62nd on the all time list, behind Jamali Maddix, Tim Key and even Series 18 colleague Rosie Jones.

All Time Leaderboard After Ep 7: 76–90 (Rosie Jones 77th)

• Another bad episode for Rosie (although really she should blame GRANDDAD) means that she has a PPT score of 2.66 for the series and falls down to 77th place on the all-time chart. She’s now just five places above the Baddiel Zone, with Nick Mohammed, Ivo Graham, Lucy Beaumont and Paul Sinha separating her from it. She’s won just 17.85% of the total points in her series — only eleven contestants have a lower percentage, including Charlotte Ritchie, Paul Chowdhry and Nish Kumar. Rosie really has been dealt a bad hand by her team and the live tasks — if one goes only on solo filmed tasks, the scores do get a little bit easier. She’s averaging 2.94 PPT in solo filmed tasks, which puts her 49th overall (level with Emma Sidi, no less). By that metric she’s beating some rather big names — Bridget Christie, Mark Watson and even Series 10 champion Richard Herring (who relied heavily on live tasks, it must be said). She’s also comfortably ahead of Andy Zaltzman by this metric, who is in 68th place, with a PPT score of 2.71. Still, with her hot dog scuppered by Captain Jackie, it’s looking like she won’t get her hands on the Taskmaster trophy. Although, in fairness, she’s already got a Greg Davies head, she doesn’t need another.

And Finally…

“Why did you put me with GRANDDAD?!”

• The end of the bell task was the second time that Rosie has congratulated herself after a task this series (when she said “I’m good at this… I’m very good.”), after the end of the rocket task in Episode 3 (when she said “well done me!”). Thankfully she did well in both of those tasks (scoring 5 and 4 points respectfully), but Rosie also has an unfortunate habit of celebrating tasks in the filming that are revealed to be disasters in the studio. In Episode 5 she anticipated her eggy-milky-cheesy surprise would be a knockout in the “most powerful smell” task — only for it to smell less than Emma’s spa; and in this episode she cheered her and Jack’s performance in the chest task — not realising that Jack was supposed to be lying the whole time and had actually just lost her 3 points. Let Rosie’s time on Taskmaster be a lesson to you — no matter how well you think you did, there’s always a chance the laws of microbiology/Jack Dee’s fading brain will screw you over.

If you want more stats, simply close one eye and say “stop de cluck” in a South African accent. Or click RIGHT HERE for the terrifying spreadsheet! Also, spreadsheet nerds will notice a NEW SET OF COLUMNS in the spreadsheet — a section on FASTEST WINS tasks! God what a RUSH.

And remember to tune into Taskmaster The People’s Podcast where this week Producer Christine schools us (mostly me TBH) about Spartan battlewear, Jenny wonders who Ian Bell is and I talk about how sometimes I like to hum a jazzy version of the Taskmaster theme tune to myself because I’m a cool little boy! YEEEEEEEEES!